Skeleton Man

MOVIE #1,050 • 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 • 07.05.23 Oh man, where do I even begin? This is, of course, an incredibly bad movie that at times feels self-aware of this fact (though not really in an annoying way). There are plenty of fascinatingly awkward moments, bits of dialogue and terrible line reads, and there’s some legitimately fun action sequences that blend practical FX and shitty mid-00s CGI. That being said, I did find my mind wandering off a good amount. Shocking that a movie featuring a Spirit Halloween villain couldn’t hold my attention, I know. And that’s probably the most jarring element of this made-for-TV combat slasher: unless all of the explosions were stock footage (and this could very well be the case!) they had something of a budget. To then make your only bad guy look like this…

… that is a CHOICE!

Also, while I was excited to see career character actor Michael Rooker get top billing here, he doesn’t seem especially happy to be there. All of the performances are, well, see for yourself…


This is typical of most of the dialogue. It almost seems intentionally bad? Like they’re parodying a kind of soldier speak. This is probably giving the movie way too much credit.

Maybe 75% of this film is just a bunch people shooting at the invincible ghoul in vain. Like, bullets do this guy NO harm, and they never figure it out. Can’t argue with this though…


I also loved the very many (feels like a dozen or so?) interjection shots of a random eagle flying above and other stock aerial footage. It adds a weird stylization to this otherwise schlock (and even when the bird isn’t seen, bird screeching is heard throughout at random intervals)…


And the endgame plot to kill the thing is so funny because Rooker just randomly gets a worker to turn on the reactor or something? His whole communication with this character makes no sense. But they blow Skeleton Man to bits. Then the credits roll. Or do they??? …


LOL. The credits fakeout! Not quite a true “So Bad It’s Good” movie but it definitely has some of those elements.

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Skeleton Man is a 2004 made-for-tv slasher film directed by Johnny Martin and starring Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien. It was aired from Sci Fi Channel on March 1, 2004. In the film, the titular Skeleton Man stalks a squad of soldiers. It was released on March 1, 2004.