The Girl Next Door

MOVIE #1,152 • 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 • 09.17.23 EVERY OTHER MONDAY I REVIEW A 100% RANDOMLY SELECTED MOVIE. THIS IS TRUE RANDOM: VOL. LIII. Now here’s an interesting T.R. selection: a movie I’m very familiar with tangentially (I was the target audience when it came out, a 23yo white hetero dude) but I never saw it AND I probably wouldn’t have, had it not been selected for this series. The second part of that equation is mostly always a given re T.R., but the first part is unique. Even though I didn’t see it, I felt as though I had. This was at the waning end of the sex comedy boom that started with American Pie and it wasn’t really a hit (it barely made its budget back). According to Wikipedia it’s considered a “cult film” now, but do you really ever people singing the praises of The Girl Next Door (2004)? Not me.

So, I’ll say that I was pleasantly surprised… I think? It definitely hits all the standard notes of the genre, with all the queasy tropes and their varying levels of offensiveness. I can’t get into the weeds with all that, on some level. It’s not my call whether or not we’re canceling The Girl Next Door here in 2023. But you also can’t talk about this movie without mentioning the countless homophobic riffs. I just don’t know if this one was over the top in that department or standard fare for the era? But look, it has some legit good performances (Timothy Olyphant is perfect as demented pimp-like villain) and some legit lolz. The insertion of this mascot pig with a giant boner right after a heartfelt moment made me chuckle…


In some ways, this feels like a throwback to an even earlier period. They might have spent half the budget on licensing hit songs. I mean look at this shit! …


And the romantic moments are completely inflated. Check out this 2004 freeze frame…


I’m not trying to oversell it. This definitely… *IS WHAT IT IS* as they say. But it’s certainly much better than I thought it would be, at least.

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The Girl Next Door is a 2004 American romantic comedy film directed by Luke Greenfield. It follows a high school senior who falls in love for the first time with the girl next door, but finds the situation becoming complicated after he learns that she is a former pornographic actress. It stars Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Timothy Olyphant, James Remar, Chris Marquette, and Paul Dano. The film received mixed reviews and low theatrical attendance at the time, but over time has gained cult film status. It was released on April 9, 2004.