Friday — May 27th, 2022: Well well well, another fantastic week in the books! [READ MORE]


The Power of the Dog


🎙️ EPISODE 435: 04.01.22

It looks good. Does it look good? Mountainsides you'll never roam seen through windows on a high-definition screen ($700 after Black Friday sale) streaming on your local Netflix and the eyes are trained to see such things as unreal now. It's not nobody's fault, I guess, least of all Jane's. What I am trying to say is that: cinematography: what is it? You can show me a strip mall shot with a smartphone and I can feel the same thing that I feel when I look at rolling New Zealand hills pretending to be from Montana. We all pretend. Sometimes even pretty mountains and their mama the sky pretend. And when they pretend on the TV you're looking at, it stops being pretend because they are just the background. The other pretenders are the pretenders that matter (people, actors, us [?] as we fill the already dead hours with this classic passive entertainment opportunity we call CIN•E•MA — and scream it from the, umm, mountains).
Foreground, background, stand your ground, don't give in, and the fancy text will appear here.... Anime filter fish stinking up the join, blocking the flow. A prompt/A hit-piece: Turning New Zealand into 1925 Montana doesn't pass the Turing Test. Wait, there isn't a fish in this. Anthrax comes from cows, not 9/11. You can read titular bible passages and still lead a life void of religion. The computer doesn't know who you are: forever stuck on the Top 10 Most Watched Netflix Things Right Now (you + the movies; what's the diff???) until you's ain't. There is no law against enjoying a thing, even if the thing is popular. Just as —

[image prompt; ex1a]

I can only imagine a future. If I was in love with the Ghost of Bronco Ford Man or whatevertheheck, life would be in some ways simpler (No streaming services in 1925=Limitations on one's sense of self). The Gay Cowboy is a trope. He even has a emoji 🤠his or her or they or Lester's own emoji. I heard somewhere that the kid in this is part of X-Men cinematic Universe, which seems like the most depressed offshoot of the comic book crap, so: very "on-brand," in other words.

I thought this had a nice "twist ending." I'm a sucker for sure. Did our pal kill Benedict Cumberboy? Or did— **I am hit over the head with a cartoon mallet as the overlords who really run this website tell me that I have to post Sam Elliot's transcript or face further account deletions**


Well folks Samuel Elliot here (spit sound, like tobacco) doing a guest film review for a little website called movie Jeff dot com. And I would like to personally thank mr. Movie Jeff d.c. for his considering a misunderstood cow poke like myself to lend a voice to his podcast— wait what's that? No. Not a podcast ? Not a podcast I'm being told. Well (chuckles) if I'm not a slab of pepperoni on a mildew pizza in the rain. Don't mind if I do. And by do I mean don't. Don't not podcast I reckon. (groans) ugh well, yes lookie: I'm confused. This is stuff is a bit beyond my sense of comprehension (spit)

Computer business aside, I am here to get serious with the chatter I stirred up a plenty recently when some comments of my own got done twisted in the mainstream media. I'm about but one thing and that's truth. And to be painted as a homosexuality phobia haver, well that didn't sit none too pretty with me, with my family, hell… with my heart and soul, down deep in the pit. Simply put: it ain't who I am and it ain't what I'm about. Now Jane champion clapped black and she was fizzier than a side of bacon on a Tuesday in June (chuckles) and to that I say, good on ya mate. whisper: She's from down under if you didn’t know, and they tend to speak a little different shade of Eng Glaze if you catch my windy drift. /whisper She called me an Act Tor, not a damn cowboy, and dammit if she’s of course not a hundo percento correct in that department. I am an actor, and proud to be of that ilk. But the damn straight truth of the matter is that I am also of the cow poke varia tay. Both, I reckon, can be true….. If you want it.

But let’s get down to brass tax with this con tro versy, so to speak. I says what I says and there’s no real reason to re-hash any of it. But now, ladies and gents, gentlefolk and womankind, I would like to put forth a confession. My commentary on the movie itself was made in something more than haste. In fact, the bald truth of it is… I had not yet seen the motion picture when I dared to put forth that opinion, and for that. FOR THAT. I am sorry.

The backlash has been harsh and well-deserved. I did wrong. A little birdie told me the gist of the thing and it sent me a on a tizzy like a tough nut tornado on Tuesday. And so I “commented” as I did, to that man, Mr. Marone, and then WHOOO-WEE… Shitstorm of the Century. As they say in them Latin texts, MEA CULPO, AMIGO.

But now, with the passage of time on my side, and — of more import, having seen the damn movie, I can state completely wrong. I say thank you Ms. Champion, and I tip my hat to you Bennie Cumberbun. And the little twig wisp of a man who played the nancy boy, awww shucks, he stole my damn fruity heart! The thing about cowboys that we don’t reckon to realize, at least all out and open and on the surface and such, is that… they’ve always been a tad on the gay side. And that’s alright. Because what I learned from THE POWER OF THE DOG, what I learned from that Sherlock Holmes fellow pretending to be in Mon Tana on the literal other side of the world…. Is that a gay can be a son of a bitch YEE-HAW! My Lord, was he a mean one. You know he did the voice of the old Grinch in the Grinch christmas movie, but the damn Grinch ain’t got nothing on the fella he plays here, hooo boy. (chuckles)

So listen, the ultimate moral of the story here is that do not forsake judge the cover of a book for the content of its pages is the real meat and potaters. And lest we dig in before opening our dumb mouths, maybe then they’d be too stuffed up with that good eating to utter a word. And I call that: JUSTICE. Thanks for your time.


The Power of the Dog is a 2021 Western psychological drama film written and directed by Jane Campion. It is based on Thomas Savage's 1967 novel of the same title. The film stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons, and Kodi Smit-McPhee. It was released on September 2, 2021.


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