 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 | 🎙️ EPISODE 570: 10.06.22 Starting in 2020, I decided to watch & review the entire Nicolas Cage filmography in alphabetical order. This is 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔜𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔞𝔤𝔢 – Chapter 27. Right off the bat, allow me to apologize: reviewing "based on a true story" serial killer movies on back-to-back days was a mistake. That is just too much true crime biopic, even for a seasoned film critic like myself. This film comes right at the dawn of Cage's dark period, the direct-to-video hell period, often recognized as ~2012-2019. This one isn't quite on the level with most of that ilk, however; it got a limited theatrical run and sports a non-abysmal 61% RT rating. But it definitely ain't good. Cage (and Cusack, to a lesser degree) are fine given the meh screenplay. The real culprit here is the movie's absolute laziness. |
And sure, some of those are asinine (the pink building, for example) but most are not. It all adds up to the kind of laziness you really have to avoid in these "based upon" type period works. But, ANYWAY, let's get into it...
After a chaotic opening sequence where we see the tail-end of Cindy's frantic escape (and subsequent inability to convince the cops on the legitimately of her story), we're introduced to Cage as seasoned State Trooper Detective Man. He has just choppered down to the site of a body discovery in a highly remote location outside of Anchorage, Alaska. Hank from Breaking Bad fills him in on the details...
Cage is on the verge of retiring from the force (he has a new job lined up in the oil industry or something) but he gets sucked into this ONE LAST CASE. They are just starting to figure out that they might have a serial killer on their hands and Cage lays out the details to his superior played by Kevin Dunn, one of many THAT GUY character actors littered in this thing...
Despite the victim, Cindy, ID'ing her assailant as Bob Hansen, the cops refuse to act because they have no hard evidence. It's here were first introduced Hansen played by Cusack. Just a totally normal man, an upstanding small business owner who everybody likes and respects...
He's the killer. That's him. The movie makes a small attempt at creating a bit of mystery but it's not really worth it. This is the heyday of American serial killers and the film knows it's more about carving out a profile of the individuals involved. This ain't no whodunnit. Cage hooks up with Street Cop Man to do some digging around the mean streets of Anchorage...
This is all extremely comical; much of the dialogue in this is. But they think this guy is hunting sex workers and exotic dancers so they have to get into the grime of this world. Little do they know, one of Bob's main tricks to luring women is setting up fake advertisements for photoshoots. And as they explore the underbelly, he's already got his next victim chained up in his living room (his wife and kids are away visiting family). Unlike yesterday's feature, The Frozen Ground spares the viewer of the real hardcore sicko violence. Maybe this a noble tact, but it also undercuts the vileness of these monsters in a way. (But, at the end of the day, I don't have a stomach for torture porn shit, so it's fine.)
Then we meet a pimp played the rapper 50 Cent (Cindy is one of his girls). As I mentioned prior, this movie doesn't do a very good job of recreating the early 80s, but they did make sure 50 Cent had a kick-ass, era-appropriate pimp wig on...
Bob is a licensed pilot; that's how he gets out to the middle of nowhere to dispose of his girls. He sets his latest victim free and hunts her like an animal, shooting her dead. The logistics of how he was able to do this time after time — not being seen throwing a chained up girl into his plane — is maddening. But I guess that's what happened?
Meanwhile, Cage attempts to get close to Cindy, whom he knows is their only hope in getting anywhere with the investigation. Vanessa Hudgens drops the n-word at a roller rink...
She's... not great, but Cage is actually giving a pretty solid, subdued performance. He's not phoning it in. His initial attempts to help her fail, and she ends up back in the prostitution game where she meets a moose just strolling the streets downtown...
I mean, maybe moose actually do that in Alaskan cities. Either way, kudos for actually getting a real moose on set and shooting that nonsensical scene. Cindy is strung out on drugs now and both Cage and Bob are trying to track to her down. We get the closest thing to a Cageian freakout as he questions one of ladies who works at the strip club...
Bob pays a thug to track down and kill Cindy (I think, this part was a little vague) and said thug tasks 50 Cent with finding her because he owes money...
At this point, Bob realizes that the cops are hot on his tracks. So he takes his son on a little plane ride to dispose of the evidence he's kept at his house. Eventually, Cage does convince the D.A. (played by another THAT GUY, Kurt Fuller) to sign off on a warrant and they bring him in for questioning. It's our first scene with both Cage and Cusack together and it's not bad...
In one final twist, after 50 Cent does deliver Cindy to the thug, he double-crosses him. He ends up getting killed but he does buy her enough time to escape, take the thug's car and make the aforementioned car-phone call to the police station which is then magically transferred to Cage's patrol car...
Then Cage (with an assist from Cindy) tricks Bob into confessing and we get a nice little Cusack freak scene before wrapping things up...
In real life, Bob was sentenced to 468 years in prison. He died there in 2014 at the age of 75. The movie ends with a dedication the victims (known and unknown) in the form of a really bad rock song and pictures of all the girls...
With tributes like this...
Listen, this ain't very good but it's far from the worst movie I've ever seen. I'm not sure how many other avenues one would have to exhaust to have this come up on the Netflix algorithm where it currently resides, but god help you if you find yourself in such a position.
THE VERDICT: 5 CAGES OUT OF 10 • CLICK HERE for all 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔜𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔞𝔤𝔢 Chapters + Ongoing Rankings.
CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 569 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 571 ⫸
⫷ EPISODE 569 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 571 ⫸
The Frozen Ground is a 2013 American thriller film directed and written by Scott Walker, in his directorial debut, starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, Vanessa Hudgens, Katherine LaNasa, Radha Mitchell, and 50 Cent. Based on the crimes of the real-life Alaskan serial killer Robert Hansen, the film depicts an Alaskan State Trooper seeking to apprehend Hansen by partnering with a young woman who escaped from Hansen's clutches. It was released on August 23, 2013.
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