Dollman

MOVIE #1,962 • SCORE 7/10 • 09.12.24
SERIES: ALBERT & AKERMAN

Dollman is a very funny title for what this actually is: a space cop from the planet Arturos named — naturally — Brick Bardo lands on earth alongside his nemesis Sprug. The catch? He’s only 13 inches tall! As I went in completely cold, I was thinking there would be an actual doll involved in this, but alas…

This is actually Pyun’s first foray into the world of direct-to-video releases, a place where he would live for a good chunk of the remainder of his filmography. But if you were expecting a dip in quality (in Pyunian terms), well, that simply isn’t the case. This looks on par (or better) than a lot of his previous films and, while it’s light on things like plot coherency (shocker), it delivers on a lot of fun and surprisingly violent action.

From a script co-written by Charles Band (who released the picture through his Full Moon distribution company), Dollman is about as dumb as it gets. After an opening scene on the planet Arturos (which has some glaring narrative continuity errors and gratuitous fat-shaming), Bardo (played by prolific B-movie star Tim Thomerson, who would go onto work with Pyun on the Nemesis films and Knights) and Sprug (who is just a floating head — see this dude below — played by the great character actor Frank Collison) land in the South Bronx…


I know I’m always talking about how stupid these plots/scripts are but this one is in the running for the very dumbest one yet. There’s something glorious about its unabashed commitment to being so silly. Sprug immediately hooks up with the local South Bronx drug gangs while Bardo connects with local mom and neighborhood watch head Debi who's trying to clean up the streets. A lot of gun fights and shot/reverse shots (to hide the size of the characters) ensues. But there’s an excellent vibe and sense of place here. Even though this was mostly shot in CA, Pyun somehow manages to capture the essence of the crime-addled 1990 Bronx, especially in a tone-setting montage after the little humanoid aliens land on Earth…


Forget the fact that those establishing shots are the only actual city locales we see (the film more or less takes place in a cramped apartment and your standard wasteland area): at under eighty minutes total, it's all you need to trick the audience into thinking this is decrepit New Yawk. It works. The goofy delight of the set-up aside, the aesthetics and action are really nice…


Forget the fact that Sprug is squashed by Jackie Earle Haley halfway through the movie…


…or this random insert guy wearing a Brick Bardo wig…


…or any of the other, countless 'fundamental issues': this is some solid schlock. The montage credits start rolling at the 75 minutes, a Pyun Hallmark (and I love how actors who just had a single scene get the end credits shout-out — anything to pad that run-time, baby). He gets you in and out fast and, unless you’re a real snob, you’ll have a good time.

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⫷ MOVIE #1,961 - (YOU ARE HERE) - MOVIE #1,963 ⫸

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Dollman is a 1991 American science fiction action film directed by Albert Pyun and starring Tim Thomerson as the space cop Brick Bardo, also known as "Dollman" due to his being 13 inches (33 cm) tall. Bardo is equipped with his "Kruger Blaster", which is the most powerful handgun in the universe. The film also stars Jackie Earle Haley as Bardo's human enemy, Braxton Red. "Brick Bardo" is a character name used by Albert Pyun in films dating back to his second film, Radioactive Dreams. It was released on March 12, 1992 .