Rift (2011)

MOVIE #1,973 • SCORE 4/10 • 09.17.24
SERIES: TWO FOR TUESDAY

Tubi is the perfect invention for 21st century media. There are 1,000s of movies just like this that nobody has ever seen and more are getting made every single day. They're cheap and instantly forgettable. This has 14 user reviews on IMDb and 60 logs on Letterboxd (it appears in 83 lists on the latter for some reason). As these things go, this is a fairly well-known entry in the pantheon of all the schlock that exists. It was directed by LazRael Lison, the man who brought us the 2016 stoner comedy-horror Halloweed starring Simon Rex. He’s made over a dozen films in the past fifteen years. It’s movies like this that let me know my goal of seeing every movie ever made is impossible. But still, I press on.

Some random observations…

• The opening credits play out over random stills of a generic blueprint of an apartment building
• The fake (?) SOV horrors that the characters watch look better/more interesting than this movie
• It's very funny watching a low-budget movie try to interpret 2001 in 2011 aesthetically
• This goes from relatively no weirdness and nudity to “naked zombie lady spitting maggots onto a deranged mortician” very quickly
• My favorite actor in this was this possibly Eastern European lady tasked with doing an American South accent for some reason…


I kind of resent these movies for making me feel stupid for not understanding their ridiculous plots before I realize that, of course, there's nothing to ‘get’ — they're half-baked and dumber than dog shit! I still don't understand how the sodomizing necrophiliac mortician plays into it, though! This one falls into that category but I didn't flat out loathe it. There's some moments here and there. Fuck it…

---

CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ MOVIE #1,972 - (YOU ARE HERE) - MOVIE #1,974 ⫸

---

Several college students are brutally murdered in a small college town and the killer is still on the loose. It was released on May 15, 2011.