Fast Company

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🎙️ EPISODE 350: 04.25.2021 I saw it. It was there this entire time, just waiting, lurking, right around the corner. I knew. I fucking knew. The fifth movie in the David Cronenberg filmography is a stupid race car movie. I knew this day would come. And yet, still, I was somehow shocked by how much I hated this really bad movie. So, apparently, D.C. is a big car guy in addition to being an absolute weirdo freak, which – as far as venn diagrams go – is as small as sliver as you're gonna find. Both his previous films featured nice, realistic car crash sequences, both big and small, and he would go onto to make the ORIGINAL Crash, a film about people who are sexually aroused by car crashes. Which... you do you, is what I say about that. But, also, that one's not for awhile, so....

[NOTE: The original video review from which this episode was based on was deleted along with my entire YouTube channel — this incident was chronicled in Episode 433.]

And speaking of films that have that same name. This is the sixth major motion picture to be called Fast Company. Now, how about that. Hey, how would you rank the Fast Company's? Well, three of these bad boys pre-date the 1930s, with two of them being silent films (including this one on YouTube). That's pretty cool. Then you got this one from 1938 about a married couple who are also rare-book dealers that are trying to solve a murder case. Sweet. And, last but not least we have the John Sturges comedy, 1953's Fast Company. This one basically replaces the race cars with race horses and the main horse in is it named "Gay Fleet." I said, "Gay Fleet" and, yes, I'm doing anything to avoid getting into this one but, so, uh, yeah....

My favorite part of this, by far, was the original soundtrack by a guy named Fred Mollin, which is – somewhat shockingly – streaming on Spotify. These are the schlockiest of schlocky late 70s bombastic cheeseball rock 'n' roll and ballads. All kidding aside, I genuinely appreciate this kind of under-the-radar stuff. It all sounds like music you've heard a million times before, but something is just slightly off about it. And I appreciated how the lyrics so specifically referenced the action in the movie; a cheesy staple in film that has been lost to the seas of time and good taste. Maybe it's an ironic detachment type of enjoyment, but – look – I'm grasping for straws here.

Like with any film of this ilk, you're gonna expect a bit of comedy. To say I didn't find it funny is, uh, yeah, the understatement of the year. Everything, including the goofs, is tied to the world of car racing and not just car racing, but a very specific type of dragster/"funny car" racing and the regional world of Western Canada and the American Northwest where this is set. And I just have no time for all the jargon, and none of the actual action does anything for me. These are the type of races where the cars just go a short distance in a straight line and often explode. Not. For. Me. I would rather watch anything else.

My disdain for the subject matter aside, there's literally nothing wrong with this in a practical sense. The performances, led by William Smith in the lead and the great John Saxon as the bad guy, are all fine and – for me at least – kept this from being a truly unwatchable product. Sadly, in a cruel twist of fate, this was the last movie featuring 70s Playboy pin-up and "Queen of B Movies," Claudia Jennings, who died in a car crash at age 29 later that same year.

Anyway, that's all I got for this one. A true outlier in the catalog. Back next week, bye!

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 5th 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚗𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚐 – 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑/𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚍 𝙲𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚐'𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚢. 𝙲𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎...

CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 349 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 351 ⫸

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