The Monkey's Paw

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🎙️ EPISODE 568: 10.04.22 This is a B-movie if there ever was one and, frankly, I have zero idea how it landed on my radar. But it's absolutely anchored by an inspired/unhinged performance by character actor Stephen Lang (Avatar, many many more) in a surprising lead role (we'll get to this) and there's enough other dumb bad movie shit here to keep the bad movie addicts going as well. I mean — I don't want to oversell this — you have to be a real freak for bad stuff in general to even put this on in the first place. Based on a 1902 short story, there was one feature film adaptation made each decade between the years 1923 and 1948, then 65 years passed before Hollywood just HAD to remake it again. And the result is the pile of crap. It's The Monkey's Paw, godammit!

The general premise of the story involves a unique fake-out (in a way). We begin with a muddled flashback: a father dies and gives the haunted trinket to his young child. Cut to the future and we're introduced to main character Jake Tilton, played by walking piece of plywood, C.J. Thomason (sorry). He works at some kind of factory with the ne'er-do-well Tony Cobb (the excellent Lang) and this other middle management guy who immediately gets canned. Well, it's this totally nondescript character who is the owner of said monkey paw. Which — let's discuss this for a moment — having a petrified monkey paw, or any other animal part that isn't a rabbit's foot just in your pocket all the time? Strange, no? Anyway, that's the least of our troubles. He gives the thing to Jake and says that it's supposed to be able to grant three wishes, but he never "had the guts" to try it.

Well, Jake does! And he wishes for the cool car parked outside the bar. Cobb checks it and guess what? It's unlocked and the keys are inside. Guess that was the wish and not a coincidence / irresponsible ownership? So they go for a drunk drive and Jake swerves because there's an alligator in the road...


Cobb is killed in the crash so Jake uses a second wish on bringing him back to life. But careful what you wish for. Cobb comes back as a deranged zombie and away we go. Again, the transference of the bulk of the action/utility to a character who's been setup as auxiliary creates a kind of cognitive dissonance in the viewer. Or at least it did for me (I'm probably over-thinking this incredibly dumb movie). The rest of the movie is a battle between Jake/Cobb and because Lang is so good as the latter, it isn't THAT bad. Cobb wants Jake to use his final wish on making his estranged son love him again, but he also violently kills people at random so there's really no telling what's up with this guy. It doesn't matter anyhow because Jake tosses the paw away and can't find it. Charles S. Dutton plays the cop. There is a Bayou-bred character named "Catfish" and you can't understand ANYTHING he says...


OK. I don't have the energy to do a plot recap thing here. It's the damn Monkey's Paw, folks. Beware...

CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 567 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 569 ⫸

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The Monkey's Paw is a 2013 American horror film based on the 1902 short story of the same name by author W. W. Jacobs. The film revolves around Jake Tilton, who receives a mysterious monkey's-paw talisman that grants him three wishes. The film was directed by Brett Simmons, written by Macon Blair, and produced by Ross Otterman for TMP Films, and is a Chiller Films presentation. It was released on October 8, 2013.