The Farmer's Wife

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🎙️ EPISODE 687: 04.07.23                 This silent film begins with two identical, incredibly well-trained dogs. Already better than the last couple on principle! The titular farmer's wife dies in the opening scene. RIP farmer's wife. There's more inter-titles in this and they're more poetic. Not sure if this is good or bad, though I've been clamoring for more words during these. (Careful what you ask for, I guess.) Lines like...

and...

You know: poetic. Like I says.

The farmer's daughter gets married and now the farmer (Jameson Thomas) is really lonely since his wife is gone. His only company's a doofus farmhand (pure "weird-looking comic energy" from Gordon Harker (also of The Ring) and his housekeeper, Minta (Lillian Hall-Davis). Part of the issue here is that I find these impossible to digest as comedic, but I guess that's what, in part, they're aiming for. It just doesn't register in the silent film medium outside of clear slapstick.

Anyway, the dumb farmer wants a new wife so he dictates a list of potential new wives to the Housekeeper, and they all appear in the empty chair across from him like magic...


(That effect fucking blew your mind in 1928 no doubt.)

There's four names in all and it doesn't matter because you know he's gonna end up with the damn housekeeper but let's get this over with.

Widow #1 (I believe they're all widows lol) he tries to court with the ole "you're a fat hen" line. It doesn't work. She's too independent, she says. He leaves in a huff. Widow #2 he courts at a small party. Nearly all of his comments seem to subtly or overtly about these women's weight? Anyway, this one won't do because she has anxiety or something. (He literally crosses their names off the list after each rebuttal, btw). Meanwhile, Gordon Harker's pants keep falling down. Now that's comedy!

The party continues and it's mostly just for goofs like that and to pad the run-time I suppose. Widow #3 rebuffs the horny old farmer at this same party because his ass is too old and horny. He doesn't even make an attempt with the fourth name on his list. There's a scene at the local pub then a random-ass foxhunt scene to push us over the 90-minute mark. And then, dejected, he sees his housekeeper as a potential option which, her being younger and hotter than all of the widows, duh! Ya dope. The audience can see this coming from the very first deathbed scene when the farmer's wife's last words to the housekeeper were something along the lines of "make sure you keep his underwear clean." We had to go through the whole rigamarole because THAT'S THE MOVIE. And, in truth, I still found this more tolerable than the last couple (maybe even the best? sure why not). Even if the end is obvious and the comedy nearly fully lost to the seas of time, there's something to the formula.

This is like the three bears routine only there's four of them and they're English country widows and the porridge that's just right is his poor housekeeper who has to submit to his desires because 1920s movie and culture logic (and no other reason). But please keep in mind the real point of the story…


Of course they couldn't end with the MAN seeming at all weak, as the first two "no" widows come groveling back, having changed their mind. He then shoves his new, younger, prettier selection in their faces. And that's all folks! Dudes rock.

CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 686 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 688 ⫸

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The Farmer's Wife is a 1928 British silent romantic comedy film directed by Alfred Hitchcock and starring Jameson Thomas, Lillian Hall-Davis and Gordon Harker. It is adapted from a 1916 play of the same name by British novelist, poet and playwright Eden Phillpotts, best known for a series of novels based on Dartmoor, in Devon. The Farmer's Wife is produced by British International Pictures at Elstree studios. The film's sets were designed by the art director Wilfred Arnold. The film was remade as a 1941 film The Farmer's Wife directed by Leslie Arliss. It was released on March 2, 1928.