Small Soldiers

MOVIE #1,885 • 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 • 08.14.24 I didn’t quite know what to expect when the first three actors on-screen were David Cross, Jay Moore and Denis Leary, but this wastes no time getting to good stuff. The satire here is as subtle as a sledgehammer: a weapons manufacturer buys a toy company! That's the movie and its theme in seven words. But this is also a cult classic for a reason. The legend Stan Winston designed the puppet toys 1, Adam Rifkin (Never on Tuesday) co-wrote the screenplay and some classic actors (Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, and many more 2) did the voice work.

Oh, and Joe Dante is at the helm doing what he does best: reigning over tiny nonhuman things that wreak havoc with biting social commentary to boot! There's also some top-notch performers rounding out the non-toy cast (Phil Hartman in his final acting performance ³ and Kirsten Dunst among them).

This is the anti-Toy Story if there ever was one. I'm sure that I'm the first person to make this comparison.

There was controversy about the film’s PG-13 rating, mostly because of Burger King…


…but it didn’t stop the film from being a modest hit. Still, this is essentially a horror movie minus the blood and gore…


(That's 90s babes Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci voicing the demonic Barbies)

When Dick Miller says that “toys is hell” he is not talking about toys…


(BTW this film had the perfect about of Denis Leary IMO.)

It’s getting to the point where I have no idea how to rank these movies. Each one has been so damn fun and tight (as well as smarter than I would have ever imagined). I’ve done my best, but honestly take your pick outside of the Top 3 (and bottom 2).

FOOTNOTES
1. Via Wikipedia:

For the film's effects shots, Dante stated that the original idea was to use mostly puppetry, using puppets provided by Stan Winston. However, Dante said that while shooting, it was "much simpler and cheaper" to use computer-generated imagery (CGI) after the scenes had been shot, so the film is "one-third puppetry and the rest CGI."

The difference IS somewhat glaring but I was surprised how well it all looked, honestly. I enjoyed both the CGI and amazing practical FX.

2. There are two warring toy factions: the 'good' Gorgonites led by Frank Langella and 'bad' (not so subtly AMERICA) Commando Elite led by Tommy Lee Jones. In a bit of stunt casting, the rest of the former is voiced by the three members of Spinal Tap (Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer) and the latter is the surviving members of 1967's The Dirty Dozen (George Kennedy, Jim Brown, Ernest Borgnine and Clint Walker).

3. There is a really nice and simple post-credits tribute to Hartman...

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Small Soldiers is a 1998 American action comedy film directed by Joe Dante. It stars Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith, along with the voices of Frank Langella and Tommy Lee Jones. It depicts two factions of toys which turn sentient after mistakenly being installed with a military microprocessor, in turn putting two families in danger when one faction turns lethal. It was released on July 10, 1998.