If....

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🎙️ EPISODE 203: 11.14.19 I never go into a movie with anything but the best intentions. We (humans) are constantly being let down. Unreasonable expectations are among our greatest scourges, if not a part of the sad reality of our default state. When a movie with a four-dot ellipsis in the title immediately features an onscreen intertitle utilizing the three-dot variety, you'll want to die on the spot. This is one of the basic facts of life. Let's rewind.... When you briefly catch wind that the Palme d'Or winner at Cannes 1969 is celebrating its 50th anniversary and said movie features one of the very good actors (Malcom McDowell) and you (somehow?) have never even heard of it before and that it's also streaming for free on Kanopy, well, you're gonna watch this movie and everything else that happens afterwards is up to fate....

If.... is not good. It's not bad in any offensive way, although the decision to present some scenes in black and white and others in color, seemingly at random, is aesthetically maddening. No, this film's main offense is that it is a snooze, a total bore. It’s barely a movie. What charisma McDowell has, and he has buckets of it, is dried out by a lackluster supporting cast and non-starter script which, via the sands of time, has had any and all semblance of subversiveness wrung from of it.

CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 202 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 204 ⫸

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