Rabid is so much dumber and less flushed out than Shivers. If you thought horny parasites that turn everyone into rapists was out there and convoluted. Welp, sorry. The general plot of this is as follows: (1) Girl gets into motorcycle accent/fire; (2) Girl goes into emergency experimental surgery at a nearby plastic surgery hospital because that's the closest hospital to the accident?; (3) Crazy Doctor does something during the surgery (more on this in later) that makes Girl grow a mutant dick/snake that pops out of her armpit and needs to drink human blood, infecting and/or killing everyone she comes into contact with in the process; (4) everyone in Montreal is pretty much either killed, or infected and then killed, including the Girl and credits roll as she's thrown into the back of a garbage truck. That's all folks!
The Rabid Girl is played by Golden Age of Porn star Marilyn Chambers and if you–you meaning: ME–thought that Shivers had an issue re a lack of any clear protagonist, well this one doubles down on that notion. I suppose it's Marilyn Chambers, but let's be Frank, they don't give her all that much to do except show her boobs and suck people's blood with her armpit dick. And, now, well about that... This "thing," (David Cronenberg called it an "organ" here) this phallic thing: it's a dick, right? Continuing on the themes of sexual awakening vs. an out-of-control sexual assault inducing horniness, it sure seems like this little prop is supposed to be a... penis. That would fit in line, thematically, with the tenor of her attacks, which are all clearly meant to blur the lines between sex and bloodlust. So... why is this thing growing out of her armpit? I mean, it's fine. It's an armpit dick and who am I to tell this little mutant armpit dick what it can or can't be. Maybe the film censors and/or the Canadian government, who somehow partially funded this gem of a movie (!), weren't ready for this armpit dick to be a, uh, you know, regular dick? I'm not trying to rewrite or even punch-up this thing. The reason this phallic mutation is coming out of her armpit is probably a logistical one, and I can't complain about the practical effects which are, yet again, the real star of the show. (Apologies to Ronald Mlodzik!)
And it's not that Marilyn Chambers is bad. She isn't at all. It's just that she hasn't got too much to do, and her character, Rose, has zero agency. Every action, including the ridiculous motorcycle wreck set off by a bumbling dad–lost on a family vacation, he parks his RV in the middle road–is foisted upon her. Oh, and the one decision she does make all on her own (and absent of her armpit penis's motivation), turns out to be the worst possible one ever (she dies for it). Her boyfriend (Frank Moore) and Good Doctor (Joe Silver) work jointly as the audience surrogate, and–while there isn't much meat on the bone for either of them–they both give solid performances. Also, quick sidebar: major kudos to Joe Silver for going through the hellish face prosthetics of Shivers and still agreeing to be the quasi-lead (third billed in the credits) in some more bonkers body horror shit.
The thing is, you realize fairly fast here that, honestly, well, there isn't all that much here. And that is fine. I liked that, and I respect that. This movie is not taking itself that seriously, which wasn't necessarily always the case with Shivers, or at least didn't feel that way to me. The scale has been ramped up and the plot has been damped down. This is almost 100% less structurally sound than its batshit predecessor but, also, without a doubt, the better movie. Sometimes, it works out that way. And it's no accident.
That being said, I did think there were some themes re the concept of plastic surgery and the societal dangers and implications therein (in addition to the obvious sex stuff, which–to be totally honest–I'm not sure I truly understand). If you rewind to the scene where Crazy Doctor does the initial surgery, there's an impossibly dense exposition dump about what's happening scientifically. I felt like there was maybe something more here, and there might have been initially, but even before this thing fully goes off the rails, it becomes a moot point. As a character, the Crazy Doctor is killed off pretty damn early, eliminating the threat of some deeper conspiracy from the audience's mind. This is common with any mutant zombie or rampant infection film: the impetus/inciting incident is always more fascinating in theory than in reality. Basically, the only thing you need to know here or think about is the very simple sentence: What if a porn star started to give most of a major North American city super-rabies?
Sometimes, that's all you need.
A couple of loose notes before I wrap this up...
1. The Boyfriend Character
Frank Moore. I kept thinking he was going to be a part of some twist, some reveal of a greater conspiracy behind all this. From his very first creepy–no: loving–nope, definitely creepy glance at his beloved Rose at the onset of the film, to his overtly manic behavior, something about this dude just felt off. In the end, I think he was just madly in love with Rose, and that's fine. But damn if I didn't have my guard up the whole time.
2. I'll See Your Little Kids... and Raise You Babies
Well. Yuck. It wouldn't be a David Cronenberg film if some heinous crime wasn't committed against a small child. And while the victim here isn't a small child but an actual baby, we at least only see the aftermath of a gruesome scene and not the atrocity itself. SIGH.
3. Scale, and The Parallels to Now
For at least a little while, this is a fairly contained story. A tale as a old as time: Girl with armpit penis that needs to drink blood wakes up from a coma at the plastic surgery hospital, kills a cow and some dudes, this chick in a hot tub.... You know the drill. I wasn't expected this to turn into a virus outbreak/zombie movie (although, like, I definitely should have–See Shivers). And this is actually why I think the film is far more successful than Cronenberg's first narrative feature. This element of the plot is unleashed forty minutes into the action. The entire second half of the film takes place under the umbrella of this citywide super-rabies outbreak. The moments with Rose and her plight are still singular and feel small. But this added bigness, even if mostly only hinted at, lends the picture a far more grandiose feel. And let's be honest, mandatory vaccines and crazy, scared active shooters... is this 2021 or 1977? Come on now!
Ultimately, this is one you can fully turn your brain off for and just enjoy the ride. And I don't mean that as a slight. There is an art to this, and David Cronenberg is clearly a master of the form.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 4th 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚗𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚐 – 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑/𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚍 𝙲𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚐'𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚢. 𝙲𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎...
CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 344 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 346 ⫸
⫷ EPISODE 344 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 346 ⫸
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