I think I mentioned the wooden Virgin Mother statue dildo enough times on the podcast to never mention it again (ever again), but if there's one thing I casual movie fan knows about Benedetta , it might be the wooden Virgin Mother statue dildo. Look, I don't make the rules. I don't necessarily even like the rules. But you're not legally allowed to own a movie review website and not mention the wooden Virgin Mother statue dildo when discussing the 2021 Paul Verhoeven film, Benedetta . Kapeesh?
So, that being said, this movie is exactly what you think it is: a horned-up mess that looks like crap, but it does A) titillate in the way a horned-up lesbian nun flick with outrageous spouts of Verhoevenian ultra-violence obviously would, and B) does make some interesting commentary on the church (if you can push aside all the aforementioned stuff, both good and bad). It seems cheap to give it props for GOING THERE, but I'm gonna do just that, because in never really traverses EdgeLord territory (at least not on purpose?). It might be impossible to see (and please don't ask me to explain it) but there always seems to be a point to all of this insanity. And while I definitely think a lot of the green-screened backgrounds and random CGI snakes...
....look "bad." They look bad in a way that I appreciated. This is a strange and wild movie: part softcore porn, part religious satire, part HOLY SHIT A GUY JUST GOT HIS HEAD CHOPPED OFF BY A SWORD-WIELDING JESUS...
Simply put: this is one of the most "NOT FOR EVERYBODY" movies ever made. And what I'm trying to say is that I can't totally include myself in that EVERYBODY. Sorry (not sorry) if you think of less me for it.
Also, here are a couple addendums/random notes:
I cracked the case on whether or now bishops could screw in the 1600s and the answer seems to be definitely not...
So I don't know what the fuck was up with that scene with the pregnant "wife" shooting titty milk was all about?
And lastly, I thought this was extremely funny: I found three different versions of the movie poster for this thing: (1) Nip-Slip, (2) Partial Nip-Slip (Le Veiled Nip-Slip), and (3) No Nip....
Basically, if you like titties and nips and/or you like titties and nips in a religious setting, you can't go wrong with this one!
CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 446A - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 447 ⫸
⫷ EPISODE 446A - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 447 ⫸
Benedetta is a 2021 biographical drama film directed and co-written by Paul Verhoeven, starring Virginie Efira as Benedetta Carlini, a novice nun in the 17th century who joins an Italian convent and has a lesbian love affair with another nun. The film is loosely based on the 1986 non-fiction book Immodest Acts: The Life of a Lesbian Nun in Renaissance Italy by Judith C. Brown. It was released on July 9, 2021.
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