 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 | 🎙️ EPISODE 520: 07.29.22 Starting in 2020, I decided to watch & review the entire Nicolas Cage filmography in alphabetical order. This is 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔜𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔞𝔤𝔢 – Chapter 22. Well, what do we have here. ANOTHER Paul Schrader movie starring Nicolas Cage that begins with the letter "D" ? Did he not know I was planning on doing this filmography review alphabetically? Ugh. While I would have much preferred to space these two out, I can say that this film is definitely an improvement (even though, chronologically, Schrader made the abysmal Dog Eat Dog — still hanging tough in last place at the moment! — two years after this). This film isn't that good, but it's goddam Taxi Driver by comparison. Let's get into this "Cage is a rogue C.I.A. agent with dementia" thriller! |
Flash-Forward 22 years and a shaky-hands Cage is revealed to be a C.I.A. agent named Ethan Lake and he's delivering a speech to new cadets or whatever...
what am I doing here? I don't man, good question lol
They cut back to the torture sequence and we see that this mean terrorist (Muhammad Banir) ripping off a piece of Cage's ear before being rescued. Ouchie! ...
This is a simple, boilerplate international thriller. It is endlessly average, forever semi-watchable. It's part of an odd mid 2000s-mid 2010s period for Schrader where nearly every movie has a sub-50% R.T. score and the best compliment I can give this one — again, in comparison to Dog Eat Dog — is that A) he at least penned the screenplay, and B) he isn't acting in it. I like Schrader and his hits are undeniable, but man it seems like the majority of this clip is either forgettable or simply bad or both...
The action then cuts to Bucharest, Romania, and we see a car chase resulting in an terrorist-looking dude committing suicide rather than be captured by plunging to his death in in an icy river. This will all be explained shortly.
Back in the states, we find the origin of Cage's shaky hands is due to a dementia diagnosis. So he does what any of us would do in this situation, he goes to Diamond Tuesdays, I mean Ruby Tuesdays...
Cage's C.I.A. coworker, a fellow paper pusher named Milt who also longs to be out working in the field (played by the actor Anton Yelchin who would die tragically, far too young, just a few years after this) meets him at the Ruby Tuesdays. Also, you just can't order "something to eat" at a Ruby Tuesdays. You need to give them more information!
Here we learn that the man who jumped to his death was working for Banir. He was in Romania securing a lifesaving drug for a rare disease called Thalassemia. Everyone assumed Banir died in the firefight when they rescued Cage 22 years earlier, but Cage always knew he was still alive and now they have proof (because of his family medical history or something). Anyway, this is Cage's chance to get back into the action and finally get some revenge on the man who fucked up his ear.
The parallels between hero and villain both having terminal illnesses clear, Cage goes to his superior to try and explain why they shouldn't just let this terrorist die naturally...
Then the C.I.A. brings in their own doctor (who just happened to be waiting in the wings that day). They know he's been secretly getting treatment for his recent death-sentence diagnosis and they want to help him get the best care he can. But this just further enrages Cage (one of the symptoms of his dementia is wild mood swings) and he lashes out at the whole damn system, including Obama's ass...
This forces Cage's hand and he's basically fired from the C.I.A., leaving in a fiery outburst where he 'resigns' from the position. Later that night Milt shows up at his apartment to drink Sake. They do a little exposition where we learn there is a Romanian doctor named Cornell who has a Kenyan wife, and his wife's family is being threatened in exchange for medical assistance with Banir's condition. Cage also unpacks his theory as to why/how the terror leader has remained hidden/presumed dead for 22 years...
OK, sure. Makes sense, I guess. At this point Cage and Milt decide to go rogue when the C.I.A. doctor from before makes a house call, forcing Cage to open up about his dementia diagnosis to his coworker pal. So they fly to Romania and meet up with an old contact/lover and Cage has a freakout about not being able to smoke in the restaurant...
(I'm sorry if these clips are boring; there's not a whole lot here as it turns out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
They then go confront Dr. Cornell and he admits to everything we already know (his Kenyan wife, the blackmail, etc.). It's not very thrilling for a thriller film, because you can't paint a scene with a reveal like that when the audience already knows the plot. Later that night, Milt finds Cage wearing a funny hat, shaking on a park bench, confused and saying random numbers. He is starting to sundown...
I'm not trying to make light of this condition, which is really scary and heartbreaking. But used as a device in a film like this it sort of feels cheap and unnecessary. Sure, I guess it adds to this "nothing to lose" situation. However — counterpoint: does it?
Anyway, the next day they go observe the meet up between Dr. Cornell and Banir's next-man-up lackey, but this Kenyan spots them immediately somehow and runs off. Milt proceeds to chase him down and SLIT THIS GUY'S FUCKING THROAT?! Which seems against company protocol? ...
One of the major issues with this film is Milt's blind dedication to Cage. Other than having a shared frustration with his role in the C.I.A., it doesn't seem there's a whole lot there. Definitely not enough to go and start executing dudes in public in a foreign country. Nevertheless.
So then they hatch the cockamamie plan to have Cage dress in a disguise as Dr. Cornell (designed by a random gay guy) and fly to Kenya to meet Banir in person. OK! ...
Do you think they look alike?
It doesn't REALLY MATTER, since Banir likely doesn't know what this guy looks like; it's just such a random Scooby-Doo-ass move lol.
So Cage and Milt fly to Kenya and, even though his condition is rapidly worsening, he's able to pull this rouse off, complete with comically bad Romanian accent...
Meanwhile, Milt overpays for some black market guns and Cage stops to smell a random plant...
The dedication to the dementia angle and its many symptoms is... honorable? It's something, at least.
The guns never really quite come in to play since Cage is gonna get padded down anyway. He does go to the meeting with Banir with a secret James Bond knife in his belt and two doses of poison (one to kill slow and painfully; the other fast and painless; he doesn't use these poisons or mention them again, so: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
He gets inside the terrorist's home and he's not recognized. Banir is actually quite pleasant to him. He lures his assistant away by saying that the toilet is broken and does a karate chop, knocking that dude out. It's mano a mano time, as Cage outs himself to the extremely sick former terror leader...
The two chat for awhile. Banir explains that he would have given up both of his ears if it meant he hadn't had to live in hiding for the past two decades. Cage begins to have a dementia episode, with flashbacks of his time being tortured merging with this current conversation. The camera gets blurry...
yeah there is a sure is a lot to forget, Banir, like this movie, amirite??
Bucking expectations, that scene ends with a whimper, with Cage just walking out, leaving Banir alive. He lies to Milt that he killed him and they drive back to the hotel. I think he basically realized, since he'd forget it very soon anyway, what would the point be in killing him? Maybe? Well, the point is that they are almost immediately attacked by Banir's men back at the hotel, Milt is shot and so are a lot of other people just chilling at the hotel pool...
So Cage is hit in the shoulder but he shoots one of the henchman and steals his van. He races back to Banir's lair to finish the job, which — let's be honest — probably should have done back when he had the chance five minutes ago? There are no guards at the terrorist's home this time (lol) but he does have a dagger on him and they have a nice little dagger vs. belt knife fight, rolling around on the ground and the such. It ends when Cage plunges his finger into Banir's eye socket, fucking up HIS brain in the process. Poignant, yes...
Cage drives off but shit is very blurry now and it's assumed via some combination of the gunshot wound + dementia kills him as the scene cuts to white and then to shots of graves in Arlington, you know that famous graveyard, where we see Cage's tombstone. This is all soundtracked by the audio of the C.I.A. speech he made at the beginning. Also, we see Milt is alive and he goes to the home of the Romanian chick from before to break the bad news. Fade to black. Cut to credits...
I've been ragging on this thing pretty hard, but it's basically fine. A straight-up, down the middle 5 outta 10 if there ever was one. Cage clearly likes and respect Schrader, working with him on two of his films consecutively. It's just a shame they couldn't connect on some better material. Oh well, maybe one day.
THE VERDICT: 5 CAGES OUT OF 10 • CLICK HERE for all 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔜𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔞𝔤𝔢 Chapters + Ongoing Rankings.
CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 519 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 521 ⫸
⫷ EPISODE 519 - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 521 ⫸
Charlie Says is a 2018 American biographical drama film directed by Mary Harron and starring Hannah Murray as Leslie Van Houten and Matt Smith as infamous killer Charles Manson. It had its world premiere at the 75th Venice International Film Festival. It was released on September 2, 2018.
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