The Beautiful Game

MOVIE #1,918 • 🍿 • 08.21.24 I really don’t feel like spending any time on this so I’ll try to be brief. This Netflix joint released earlier this calendar year is BAD. They apparently shot this on location in Rome but several shots look like they were in front of a green screen? See below. Also — see below that: an example of a pivotal moment in the movie presented with the poorest editing and shot composition you’ll ever see. What I’d like to focus on for a second is how in the world this garnered an 85% Rotten Tomatoes score?! 10/12 “Top Critics” gave this a positive review??!! A sampling of those ten (mostly) brain-dead opinions below the below…

PEOPLE WHO GOT PAID FOR THESE OPINIONS:

Tim Cogshell, FilmWeek (MPR): I love this movie. It's as ordinary as the dirt you play soccer on, but I don't care. It's fantastic.

Leslie Felperin, Hollywood Reporter: The film rolls along smoothly like many a British sitcom, finding its humor largely in mild embarrassment, ironic understatement and well-rehearsed comic timing.

Aparita Bhandari, Globe and Mail: You can see the ending from a mile away. But that does not stop you from cheering the various teams of unhoused players.

Nell Minow, Movie Mom: "The Beautiful Game" has a ton of heart, lively sports action, beautiful scenery, and the true MVP every time we see him, Bill Nighy as Mal, the coach of the English team.

Glenn Kenny, New York Times: Peppered with funny and inspiring moments... “The Beautiful Game” is a model of a modern “nice” movie.

Lindsey Bahr, Associated Press: Is it a little glossy and sanitized with a jaunty score? Sure. But it also thoughtfully explores themes of redemption, invisibility, pride and sportsmanship without being preachy or condescending.

Fionnuala Halligan, Screen International: It’s a film with considerable heart and, in Nighy and Ward, the Tinker Bell sparkle of the true film-star. Also, with its subject, a plea for compassion that can never go amiss, however the film ends up finding its audience.

Tim Robey, Daily Telegraph: Even if many a plot point feels mechanical, Boyce and Sharrock get away with it for one overriding reason: the star wattage coming off Ward is once-per-generation stuff.

Kevin Maher, Times (UK): When the film is off the pitch it frequently sings, and the relationship between Mal and Vinny is especially tender. But the football sequences that dominate the final act are lethally dull.

Guy Lodge, Variety: Even when you can practically hear the film’s formulaic gear-shifting, it’s hard not to be won over, not least by the real-life backstory guiding its less authentic fiction.

My review capsule would read: “Bill Nighy? More like Bill Night-Night. This is a sleepy-ass performance in a film that somehow keeps getting worse as it goes along: the editing is awful, the attempts at humor are putrid, the magic sports rule where players can just sub in and play for different countries cannot be real (?), the bad sitcom-level C-plot with the Japanese team (???)... A.I. garbage esque stuff here, folks.”

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CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ MOVIE #1,917 - (YOU ARE HERE) - MOVIE #1,919 ⫸

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The Beautiful Game is a 2024 British sports drama film directed by Thea Sharrock and written by Frank Cottrell-Boyce. The film stars Bill Nighy and Micheal Ward. The squad of English homeless footballers, including the talented but troubled striker Vinny, are led by their coach Mal, to compete in Rome at the global annual football tournament, the Homeless World Cup. It was released on March 29, 2024.