This movie has provoked a lot of divisive criticism. Most of the people/critics have liked it, if not loved it (80+ % approval), but those who have not, have been vocal and brash with their opinions. However, I've yet to read anything about what I feel is its biggest issue on a more general level (especially for the "summer blockbuster" genre): There is no real protagonist. Sure, OK, it's Leo. Fine. But why is Leo likable? He possibly murdered his wife and now he is a corporate dream spy? He seems like kind of a tortured dick, to be honest. I'm willing to accept that he's "the hero" on the grounds that A) he's Leo and B) he really seems to love his two faceless children, but it's definitely a stretch.
2. Origins
There is so little to go from. It's like we've skydived directly into the center of a burning building. Normally, this wouldn't bother me (I like trying to figure stuff out), but, for instance, the 50 or so dream years Leo spent in "Limbo" with his dead wife: that's sort of a hugely important narrative, crucial to the thread of the film, right? So, what was that? They were government dream spies (like Mr. and Mrs. Smith?), and there was a dream malfunction, and it caused them to go to Beach World and build the most boring dream city ever? (Seriously, why was Ellen Page so amazed at this? It was just a bunch of boring skyscrapers. Paraphrased Leo line, said with a wry smile: "Yeah, we had a lot of time on our hands." You had a lot of time on your hands? So you "made" a million identical boring buildings? Sweet.) They literally spent 30 seconds explaining "the why" behind this. They beat you over the head explaining the (relatively simple) ideas of dream levels and "the kick," and so forth, but stuff regarding the origin of all this crap? Sorry, you're on your own. Nolan treats the audience like fools in regards to the simple stuff, and like geniuses (or just indifferently) in regards to the big stuff. I've since started to feel that this paradox wasn't so unintentional, and was actually "the point" of Inception. Maybe this film is a statement on the mainstream movie-going experience in the year 2010?
3. The annoying Eames-Arthur relationship
In case you've forgotten, Eames is the British shapeshifter (see point #6) and Arthur is the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Now that we have that squared, someone please tell me why they acted like an old married couple? It was as if Christopher Nolan got drunk and watched Cop Out in the middle of writing the screenplay, and thought, hmm, Now that's what Inception needs! A lazily written, unnecessary subplot involving two of the supporting characters in a weird cantankerous/humorous relationship (?). Nolan wants this to be a cool, smart movie about dream spies, but he also wants it to be Spiderman 11. And it can't be both.
In case you've forgotten, Eames is the British shapeshifter (see point #6) and Arthur is the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Now that we have that squared, someone please tell me why they acted like an old married couple? It was as if Christopher Nolan got drunk and watched Cop Out in the middle of writing the screenplay, and thought, hmm, Now that's what Inception needs! A lazily written, unnecessary subplot involving two of the supporting characters in a weird cantankerous/humorous relationship (?). Nolan wants this to be a cool, smart movie about dream spies, but he also wants it to be Spiderman 11. And it can't be both.
4. Dream Academy
Leo: Dad?
Michael Caine: Yes son.
Leo: Oh hi Dad. How's Paris?
Michael Caine: Lovely, surprised to see you here at my Paris Dream Academy.
Leo: Just stopping by in the middle of some globe-trotting dream spy antics!
Michael Caine: That's my boy!
Leo: By the way, I was wondering if by chance you had a student who is really good at drawing complicated mazes on notepad paper in less than 60 seconds, who is also willing to drop out of Dream Academy to work for me doing completely illegal things?
Michael Caine: Of course I do. Let me introduce you to Juno.
Leo: Fantastic!
Leo: Dad?
Michael Caine: Yes son.
Leo: Oh hi Dad. How's Paris?
Michael Caine: Lovely, surprised to see you here at my Paris Dream Academy.
Leo: Just stopping by in the middle of some globe-trotting dream spy antics!
Michael Caine: That's my boy!
Leo: By the way, I was wondering if by chance you had a student who is really good at drawing complicated mazes on notepad paper in less than 60 seconds, who is also willing to drop out of Dream Academy to work for me doing completely illegal things?
Michael Caine: Of course I do. Let me introduce you to Juno.
Leo: Fantastic!
5. Juno
Oh, Ellen Page. When I saw you in the previews, I thought, No, that's fine, Juno's in this movie, but that's fine. Everything's fine. And that was just so not the case. Everything was not fine. I'm not saying (via Juno) that Ellen Page will never be able to play an adult or an adult-like character. She can (and will, you know, one day). But there needs to be some rules here; you can't just jump into a role like this (Smart People and Whip It are not adequate buffers [and, Ed. Note: apparently movies that exist?). Also–and this is complete nitpicking–her character's name in this movie (according to Wikipedia) is "Ariadne." How do you even pronounce that? That (choice of) name says so much, metaphorically, about this film and about Christopher Nolan as a writer.
6. Not every dream spy can be a shapeshifting dream spy
If you had told me beforehand that a British actor was going to shapeshift into Tom Berenger, I might have gotten a little excited because that sounds fun! But I also might have become a little skittish because a British actor is going to shapeshift into Tom Berenger? This instantaneously brought up so many fucking questions/scenarios. For instance, a shortlist of queries: Is Eames magical? Why can't the other dream spies do this? Why didn't he just shapeshift into Cillian Murphy's father and say the thing they wanted to plant in his mind in the first place? The problem with this movie isn't that the plot is too convoluted, it's simply too stupid. The script is basically moment after moment of Nolan backing himself into a corner, which in and of itself isn't the problem until ideas like "have the British guy shapeshift into Tom Berenger" start popping up. The main problem with this movie is that, at times, it isn't nearly imaginative enough; it's plain lazy, and for a movie about dream spies, that's a big problem.
7. Snow World
So Inception is coasting along, and I'm not really enjoying it, but it's OK. The theater is nicely air-conditioned; I'm with good people, etc. And then WHAM! We're in Snow World. All the characters are literally wearing matching costumes from The Empire Strikes Back's ice planet Hoth. WTF. A friend of mine emailed me, "I also thought Snow World was a tad unnecessary except for the cool visuals." And therein lies another problem with Inception (and "FX-laden" blockbuster-style films, in general): Great effects can never make up for the core elements of filmmaking. I did not see this in an IMAX, but I knew during the myriad flying sequences that I was watching something specifically created for that experience. When Snow World happened, I bailed out completely. I started to read the texts on the teenage girl's iPhone sitting in front of me. And let me tell you: Thomas has been acting like a total douche lately.
8. I drank a Sparks in the movie theater
Obviously, this isn't a "Reason why Inception sucked;" I just wanted to point out that, going in, there was a better than average chance I would like this more than I probably should have (via the magical alcoholic Sparks juices coursing through my body). Maybe I got a bunk can? Maybe that's the issue here: Bunk Sparks Cognitive Dissonance factor?
9. The stewardess
Do you remember all the shit that Joseph Gordon-Levitt had to go through on Level 2 (Hotel World) to make sure "the kick" happened correctly? An absolute ton of work! Let's bullet-point it:
-Fight the bad guys weightless/matrix-style in the hotel hallways: ✓
-Tie all the sleeping bodies to a bell boy's cart: ✓
-Get all the bodies into an elevator: ✓
-Rig the explosives on the outside of the elevator: ✓
-Detonate explosives at the exact moment the van hits the water on Level 1: ✓
I don't even understand how any of that worked. Gravity or something; it seemed so complicated. Anyway, there was basically a character in charge of monitoring shit at every "level," correct? (The chemist dude driving the van; Joe G-L in Hotel World; something something in Snow World; etc.) Well, please let us not forget who is running the show on the very first level, a level which you might call "the most important level" because it involves their real human bodies and all. Who is this super crucial person? Oh just some stewardess Ken Watanabe bribed when he bought the airplane. Wait, what? Who is she? We don't know. Does she know how to properly work the magic chemicals pumping out of the magic dream suitcase? We don't know. Can she bring us water and/or champagne and/or beverage x of our choosing? Yes, she can do that. Perhaps a pillow, peanuts, blankets, warm towel? Sure. You know, we don't even see this woman when everyone wakes up. She's gone; she must be really good at her job. But, sarcasm aside, apparently she understood everything that Leo and his squad of dream goons were doing in 1st class. Because they woke up, right? Come on.
10. Why does Cillian Murphy get on the plane to begin with?
There might be more bad lines in this movie than there were in Avatar. And that is saying something. One of the worst is said by someone (I forget who) in response to being shot at in Level 1; something like: "Damn, Cillian Murphy must have had his subconscious trained to be super awesome at battle in case he was abducted and pumped full of sleep chemicals by dream spies!" Someone actually relayed that sentiment. And that's fine. This takes place in the fictional year 20XX; I totally get that dream espionage might be a thing to look out for in the corporate world. Sure. But if that's the case, if Cillian Murphy and "his people" have access to "dream spy training school" trainers, then wouldn't you think these same "people" would take a few precautions to avoid his being abducted by the dream spies in the first place? But no, that isn't the case at all.
Airport Person: I'm sorry, Mr. Murphy, your private jet is broken.
Cillian Murphy: Oh what a shame.
Airport Person: We can put you in first class on another plane, along with a bunch of dream spies and an Asian man who just purchased the airline?
Cillian Murphy: Terrific! That's good because I always travel alone. I never travel with bodyguards or personal assistants or people like that.
Airport Person: That's great because there is literally just one seat left.
Oh, Ellen Page. When I saw you in the previews, I thought, No, that's fine, Juno's in this movie, but that's fine. Everything's fine. And that was just so not the case. Everything was not fine. I'm not saying (via Juno) that Ellen Page will never be able to play an adult or an adult-like character. She can (and will, you know, one day). But there needs to be some rules here; you can't just jump into a role like this (Smart People and Whip It are not adequate buffers [and, Ed. Note: apparently movies that exist?). Also–and this is complete nitpicking–her character's name in this movie (according to Wikipedia) is "Ariadne." How do you even pronounce that? That (choice of) name says so much, metaphorically, about this film and about Christopher Nolan as a writer.
6. Not every dream spy can be a shapeshifting dream spy
If you had told me beforehand that a British actor was going to shapeshift into Tom Berenger, I might have gotten a little excited because that sounds fun! But I also might have become a little skittish because a British actor is going to shapeshift into Tom Berenger? This instantaneously brought up so many fucking questions/scenarios. For instance, a shortlist of queries: Is Eames magical? Why can't the other dream spies do this? Why didn't he just shapeshift into Cillian Murphy's father and say the thing they wanted to plant in his mind in the first place? The problem with this movie isn't that the plot is too convoluted, it's simply too stupid. The script is basically moment after moment of Nolan backing himself into a corner, which in and of itself isn't the problem until ideas like "have the British guy shapeshift into Tom Berenger" start popping up. The main problem with this movie is that, at times, it isn't nearly imaginative enough; it's plain lazy, and for a movie about dream spies, that's a big problem.
7. Snow World
So Inception is coasting along, and I'm not really enjoying it, but it's OK. The theater is nicely air-conditioned; I'm with good people, etc. And then WHAM! We're in Snow World. All the characters are literally wearing matching costumes from The Empire Strikes Back's ice planet Hoth. WTF. A friend of mine emailed me, "I also thought Snow World was a tad unnecessary except for the cool visuals." And therein lies another problem with Inception (and "FX-laden" blockbuster-style films, in general): Great effects can never make up for the core elements of filmmaking. I did not see this in an IMAX, but I knew during the myriad flying sequences that I was watching something specifically created for that experience. When Snow World happened, I bailed out completely. I started to read the texts on the teenage girl's iPhone sitting in front of me. And let me tell you: Thomas has been acting like a total douche lately.
8. I drank a Sparks in the movie theater
Obviously, this isn't a "Reason why Inception sucked;" I just wanted to point out that, going in, there was a better than average chance I would like this more than I probably should have (via the magical alcoholic Sparks juices coursing through my body). Maybe I got a bunk can? Maybe that's the issue here: Bunk Sparks Cognitive Dissonance factor?
9. The stewardess
Do you remember all the shit that Joseph Gordon-Levitt had to go through on Level 2 (Hotel World) to make sure "the kick" happened correctly? An absolute ton of work! Let's bullet-point it:
-Fight the bad guys weightless/matrix-style in the hotel hallways: ✓
-Tie all the sleeping bodies to a bell boy's cart: ✓
-Get all the bodies into an elevator: ✓
-Rig the explosives on the outside of the elevator: ✓
-Detonate explosives at the exact moment the van hits the water on Level 1: ✓
I don't even understand how any of that worked. Gravity or something; it seemed so complicated. Anyway, there was basically a character in charge of monitoring shit at every "level," correct? (The chemist dude driving the van; Joe G-L in Hotel World; something something in Snow World; etc.) Well, please let us not forget who is running the show on the very first level, a level which you might call "the most important level" because it involves their real human bodies and all. Who is this super crucial person? Oh just some stewardess Ken Watanabe bribed when he bought the airplane. Wait, what? Who is she? We don't know. Does she know how to properly work the magic chemicals pumping out of the magic dream suitcase? We don't know. Can she bring us water and/or champagne and/or beverage x of our choosing? Yes, she can do that. Perhaps a pillow, peanuts, blankets, warm towel? Sure. You know, we don't even see this woman when everyone wakes up. She's gone; she must be really good at her job. But, sarcasm aside, apparently she understood everything that Leo and his squad of dream goons were doing in 1st class. Because they woke up, right? Come on.
10. Why does Cillian Murphy get on the plane to begin with?
There might be more bad lines in this movie than there were in Avatar. And that is saying something. One of the worst is said by someone (I forget who) in response to being shot at in Level 1; something like: "Damn, Cillian Murphy must have had his subconscious trained to be super awesome at battle in case he was abducted and pumped full of sleep chemicals by dream spies!" Someone actually relayed that sentiment. And that's fine. This takes place in the fictional year 20XX; I totally get that dream espionage might be a thing to look out for in the corporate world. Sure. But if that's the case, if Cillian Murphy and "his people" have access to "dream spy training school" trainers, then wouldn't you think these same "people" would take a few precautions to avoid his being abducted by the dream spies in the first place? But no, that isn't the case at all.
Airport Person: I'm sorry, Mr. Murphy, your private jet is broken.
Cillian Murphy: Oh what a shame.
Airport Person: We can put you in first class on another plane, along with a bunch of dream spies and an Asian man who just purchased the airline?
Cillian Murphy: Terrific! That's good because I always travel alone. I never travel with bodyguards or personal assistants or people like that.
Airport Person: That's great because there is literally just one seat left.
11. Who the hell is the bad guy?
And I think this–along with point #1–is the main reason Inception failed. I'll bow to popular thought, and concede that Leo is indeed the protagonist; he's obviously (at least) the main character. But in 2.5 hours, Christopher Nolan failed to create a single bad guy. This movie has no antagonist. Period. I've isolated four possible characters who sort of / kind of "feel" like bad guys, but definitely are not bad guys:
-Cillian Murphy (Robert Fisher): Before going in (going under? felt like it! zing?), I only saw the extended trailer for this film once. The extended trailer without a doubt attempts to frame Murphy as the antagonist, which makes perfect sense: A) He's Cillian Murphy, and B) He's Cillian Murphy. Dude was basically born to play creepy bad guys (or good guys in zombie flicks). But from the get-go this could not have been further from the truth. He's just this pathetic sap; if anything, he's the victim (of both Ken Watanabe's literal scam, and on a more symbolic level, via the "downside/perils" of dream espionage?). I actually felt bad for him. I thought it would be cool if it turned out he was the hero, and had actually (via "inception") planted the movie's wacky ideas into the dream spies in order to kill the business of dream spying once and for all. It doesn't seem like this is what happened, though.
-Ken Watanabe (Saito): Classic 'villain becomes co-conspirator' movie plot twist. For all its perceived uniqueness, this thing was basically cliche after cliche after cliche. Nolan took it too far, though, by attempting to make us feel for Saito when he gets shot in Level 1. Why do I give a shit if this millionaire corporate criminal lives or dies? Also, what am I missing about the significance of this particular character getting lost in Limbo? Seems like it could have been anyone, and that Saito was a strange choice.
-Leo's Dead Wife (Mal): Played by Oscar™ winner Marion Cotillard! She's bat-shit crazy, and certainly villainesque, but she's not really "in" the movie; she's just a projection. Even in Leo's flashbacks, she's still just a projection. It's Leo's flawed memory we're dealing with, not her. Most of my frustration with this movie is rooted in this character / these scenes. I feel like Nolan is really beginning to say something interesting about memory / how we choose to remember things (recall Memento? there was great potential to build on these themes here, right?), but he never allows the ideas to take form. So that basically leaves us with...
-The dreams vs. reality conflict: This is the film school 101 villain. This is not a real villain. There is a ton of drama and tension created by this; it's basically the entire plot. But it cannot be used as a fancy-pants response to the simple questions: Who is the bad guy? Who does the audience want to see defeated? In the end, it's just a bunch of people dream spies, milling about, committing dream crimes.
12. On top of all that, it was predictable
I don't have the answer. I don't know if Leo is still dreaming or not, or if that stupid fucking top ever falls over. That was another super lazy element: the "totems." In order to bring in the idea/metaphor of "the spinning top = dream world," Nolan had to come up with the idea of "totems" (how else do you work that in?). What does this get you? A completely forgettable and meaningless scene of Ellen Page in some woodshop creating a hollow chess piece. With a hundred other, much more important elements in need of an explanation, we get to watch Juno hollow-out a pawn because it made the stupid, heavy-handed "spinning top metaphor" seem a little less forced in the end ? Priorities, anyone? I could see that they would leave the ending an ambiguous mess a mile away. During the first flashback to Leo's wife jumping off the building, I thought, You know what, that was probably her killing herself to leave the dream (not suicide), and this is actually Leo still dreaming. I'm fairly confident that the entire movie was all part of a gigantic Leo dream. Some more evidence supporting this? Why after all those years in Limbo–Leo's second long stint in Limbo, mind you–is Saito an old man, and Leo the same age? And what was he even doing in the water? Did he swim across the Limbo Ocean? (You see, it looks cool to have Asian guards fish Leo out of the water to start a movie. It doesn't have to make any sense, it's just cool.) Also, Leo never "dream dies." Almost all the other characters experience dream death at one time or another (to wake up, fall into Limbo, etc.), except Leo never does.
But none of this matters. In the end, I'm giving Inception a bad grade because it's just damn boring. Save for portions of the opening sequence, I never latched on to that hard-to-describe, but very visceral movie feeling where you forget what time it is and get lost in the action. I was expecting to be wowed by a wonderfully complicated, visually magnificent, cinematic sci-fi, story, which would then parallel something tangible in real life (see Moon for an example on how this is done correctly). Although I don't want to make this out to be a case of failed expectations. It's more than that. I fear it's the case of a talented director who is having a bitch of time reconciling the fight between his great ideas and the pressure/desire/need to make lots of money and/or a big, fantastic show out of his "enormous talent." Did you know this was the biggest box office weekend of Leo's career? Good for him, I guess.
*** part of THE BIG EPISODE 300 EXTRAVAGANZA wherein I reviewed 36 movies, mostly live reads of critiques I wrote between 2009-2012. The finished product above is a highly edited version of the truly embarrassing one that was read during the five-hour podcast recording. I guess this is growing up. ***
THE 36 MOVIES REVIEWED DURING EPISODE 300
30 MINUTES OR LESS • ALEX BAG: UNTITLED FALL '95 • AWAY WE GO • BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD • BEING ELMO • BORAT SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM • THE BROTHERS SOLOMON • A BUCKET OF BLOOD •
THE CAMPAIGN • THE CENTER OF THE WORLD • CHRISTMAS ON MARS • THE CHRISTMAS TREE • CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE. • (500) DAYS OF SUMMER • A FIELD IN ENGLAND • FUNNY PEOPLE • GET HIM TO THE GREEK • GIGANTIC (A TALE OF TWO JOHNS) • INCEPTION • JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME • LEAVE NO TRACE • MAN ON WIRE • MIDNIGHT IN PARIS • MONEYBALL • MOON • MUTUAL APPRECIATION • POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS: THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD • RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES • SLEEPWALK WITH ME • SOME DRINKING IMPLIED • TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE • TRANSIT • TO ROME WITH LOVE • THE WICKER MAN • WINTER'S BONE • YOUTH IN REVOLT
THE CAMPAIGN • THE CENTER OF THE WORLD • CHRISTMAS ON MARS • THE CHRISTMAS TREE • CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE. • (500) DAYS OF SUMMER • A FIELD IN ENGLAND • FUNNY PEOPLE • GET HIM TO THE GREEK • GIGANTIC (A TALE OF TWO JOHNS) • INCEPTION • JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME • LEAVE NO TRACE • MAN ON WIRE • MIDNIGHT IN PARIS • MONEYBALL • MOON • MUTUAL APPRECIATION • POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS: THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD • RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES • SLEEPWALK WITH ME • SOME DRINKING IMPLIED • TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE • TRANSIT • TO ROME WITH LOVE • THE WICKER MAN • WINTER'S BONE • YOUTH IN REVOLT
CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 300viii - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 300x ⫸
⫷ EPISODE 300viii - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 300x ⫸
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