Rise of the Planet of the Apes

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🎙️ EPISODE 300: 01.24.2021 *Review starts @ ~ 3:09:30 Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except for CGI Monkeys Unlike the majority of Americans, I am not fanatical about the Planet of the Apes franchise. Of the original 60s-70s era movies, I’ve seen maybe 40 minutes of the first one with Charlton Heston, and by that I mean I've seen six or seven random 5-minute clips on cable TV over the last ~20 years. I saw the mostly lousy Tim Burton reboot in 2001 and found it to be completely unmemorable. So I'm not sure why I was this interested in seeing Rise on its opening weekend. Possibly because the special effects looked cool, but a better answer is that (A) I find James Franco's career choices fascinating, and (B) I’ll go see just about any movie to pass the seconds of this otherwise futile experience we call life.

Which is funny, because James Franco is really not a fascinating actor. And also, life is full of wonder. Franco is in truth a completely average actually, and the mysteries of life are so impossibly vast what we often mistake for existential dread is just our inability to quantify the beauty. I think it's easy to separate James Franco the human from James Franco the actor, even though on the surface that may seem difficult (given all the weirdo personal details we know about and not sure if he’s been fully cancelled yet or whatever, but what about all these left-field decisions he makes in picking movie roles?). But there he is. Interacting with computer-generated apes and doing a wholly adequate job.

Because you see, dear reader, this movie is not about Franco or any other human. The chimpanzee leader Caesar gets as much, if not more screen-time than any actor. So the result isn't unlike watching Roger Rabbit. The story is absurd, but it's also fun and the creators nailed the pacing. What else would you expect from the guy who would go on to make The Gambler and Captive State?

*** part of THE BIG EPISODE 300 EXTRAVAGANZA wherein I reviewed 36 movies, mostly live reads of critiques I wrote between 2009-2012. The finished product above is a highly edited version of the truly embarrassing one that was read during the five-hour podcast recording. I guess this is growing up. ***

THE 36 MOVIES REVIEWED DURING EPISODE 300

30 MINUTES OR LESS • ALEX BAG: UNTITLED FALL '95 • AWAY WE GO • BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD • BEING ELMO • BORAT SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM • THE BROTHERS SOLOMON • A BUCKET OF BLOOD •
THE CAMPAIGN • THE CENTER OF THE WORLD • CHRISTMAS ON MARS • THE CHRISTMAS TREE • CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE. • (500) DAYS OF SUMMER • A FIELD IN ENGLAND • FUNNY PEOPLE • GET HIM TO THE GREEK • GIGANTIC (A TALE OF TWO JOHNS) • INCEPTION • JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME • LEAVE NO TRACE • MAN ON WIRE • MIDNIGHT IN PARIS • MONEYBALL • MOON • MUTUAL APPRECIATION • POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS: THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD • RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES • SLEEPWALK WITH ME • SOME DRINKING IMPLIED • TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE • TRANSIT • TO ROME WITH LOVE • THE WICKER MAN • WINTER'S BONE • YOUTH IN REVOLT

CHRONOLOGICALLY
⫷ EPISODE 300X - (YOU ARE HERE) - EPISODE 300Z ⫸

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